Clean Jokes
A woman golfer having many
A woman golfer having many wrinkles from numerous hours in the sun playing golf decided to have a facelift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
Three weeks went by for healing and on her way home from her last doctor’s visit she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk,“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”
“About 35,” she replied.“I’m actually 47,” the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that, she went into the pro shop to buy new younger-looking golf wear and asked the shop cashier the same question.
He replied, “Oh, you look about 29.”“I am actually 47!” she said, feeling really good.
She left but as she was getting into her car, she saw an old man just behind her and asked the old man the same question.
He replied,“I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman’s age. If I put my hand up your skirt, I will be able to tell your exact age.”
There was no one around, so the woman said,“What the hell?” and sat in her car and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
The old geezer grinned and slipped his hand under her skirt and smoothly rubbed and rubbed.
She was getting hot and bothered and almost came when the geezer slipped his hand out and said,“OK, you are 47.”
Stunned, the woman said,“That was brilliant! How did you do that?”
The old man replied,I was behind you in line at the pro shop.”
“The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don’t put into it.”